Update on Will and Happy Fathers Day

Will has had a GREAT recovery so far!!! He had the cord length strengthening and tendon transfer on Wednesday! He was nervous, of course, before surgery and I loved on him and told him “You can do this! This is a chapter in your book of life sweet boy!” He took me literally and started writing!

Now to wishing my husband a Happy Fathers Day!! This one has been with mixed emotions as 4 months ago him oldest son committed suicide at 28 years of age, daddy of a 3 month old, in a very committed relationship to a young lady he was engaged to, and struggling with PTSD since serving in Afghanistan in the army! We need to help our veterans so much more than we do! Suicide is viewed negatively but there are people that have sicknesses that lead to this! Ian you are missed and thought of daily! Will we love you every second of everyday!!

Will is fixing to grow in strength, prayer, and his first BIG challenge!!!!

As a parent we never want to see our child go through difficult times!!! Nothing breaks our heart more than to see pain in your child’s eyes! As previous posts have explained Will inherited my neuromuscular condition Charcot-Marie-Tooth! On Wednesday he will have a major surgery on his right foot! He will have a bone moved to straighten his alignment and screwed in, a tendon transfer to help lift his foot, and heel chord lengthening! He will be non weight bearing for six weeks! As much as my heart aches this is why God blessed me with this child! I can and will guide him through this process spiritually, mentally, physically (you can do anything for your kid) and A LOT of love, praying, and time devoted to his healing! He says he is ready!! Prayers appreciated for just that!!!

From inside out to outside in

Weird title I know but bear with me! We see people in a wheelchair, mentally challenged or different in any way and we totally judge them based on what we see! We may think ” I wonder what happened to put them in a chair, or what is wrong with their speech, etc.” in reality some of the happiest people may have an obvious struggle on the outside!

In reverse from the inside out people may appear beautiful, ” normal”, smart, smiley but on the inside struggling with depression, confusion, memory issues, side effects from stroke, brain injuries etc.

Everyone has their struggles , some are just more obvious!! In times when you struggle with either don’t feel defeated by others perceptions! Lean on the one stability in all our lives…God. He knows you inside and out.

What a school year!!!

A year ago today I had just returned home from my 1 st rehab stay from my 1 st of 3 brain surgeries! I got released a day before my son’s 5th grade graduation! A few days after being home I had a seizure and brain infection and didn’t know if I would make it!!! 2nd brain surgery happened and 2 weeks in ICU not being able to talk, swallow, or move my limbs! I overheard doctors talking to my husband about nursing home options and inside my head I was screaming NO but couldn’t get it out!!! I have a 12 year old, I have a husband, and I work full time as a speech therapist with precious kids!! I prayed as did everyone else! I finally woke up and asked them to send me back to rehab as I have to get better ( yes I woke up taking enough to get my point across! At rehab I left able to talk, move but not normal, and swallow! They didn’t know if I could return to my job as a speech pathologist 8 hours a day!! I got released and a couple of weeks later I started the first day of school!! Battling fatigue, at times depression, and just doing all that comes with working full time I DID IT!!! I had a lot of support from administrators and friends!! I had my 3rd brain surgery in December and came right back to work! The best part was I was close to my son at school when he needed me!! When things seem impossible pray harder, count on friends ( hard for me ), and be thankful for EVERYTHING God gives you back to use for his purpose!!!

Worry Ends Where Faith Begins- unknown

I have this plaque in my room to remind me whenever things get to be too much. As all of the teachers know out there, the end of the year is absolutely crazy. I am trying to get all my duties done before we get out of school in a week. That brings up some interesting things then of course are on mind, but I am trying to read the word and not worry about everything coming up. We went to the orthopedic surgeon for my son and he will be getting surgery June 13. As anyone knows who has Charcot-MarieTooth, surgery is usually part of the process. I had the same surgery my son is getting when I was eight. However, since that was 30 something years ago they have made some advances in technology :-). He will be getting a tendon transfer to hopefully keep him from walking on the side of his foot.I know that he will be OK but of course it fills me with guilty feelings of having him go through these things. He is positive about the whole process as he is miserable walking on his foot right now even in the braces. We will get through this process as we always do, with our faith, family, and friends. As my plaque says WorryEnds Where Faith Begins!!!!

Happy Mother’s Day

This weekend is a day to share time with, or memories off one of the two most important people in your young life, your mom!! I am in the category of remembering memories of my mom!! Talk about a blessing my mom was for all intent purposes perfect! She was a nurse who when I was born spent years , with my dad, taking me to doctor after doctor to figure out what physical condition I had ( Mayo Hospital, Vanderbilt, Emory, Shriners and so on)!! She was fully supportive when I went away to school ( University of Tennessee, Knoxville), she stuffed Cheetos in her mouth when I came home engaged ( even though she was happy), and she was a nervous wreck when I told her I was pregnant ( but guess who was closer to my Will than anybody )… yes her!!! Then cancer struck and I finally got to take care of her in return!! I got to pray with her, listen to praise and worship music together, go to some chemo treatments, and my brother and I did not leave her side in Hospice holding her hand around the clock!!! I miss her every second of every day but she sends us messages all the time! I found this picture that shows the perfect epitome of my mom…Will was learning to walk and as she did for my brother and I, she had her hand stretched out for protection as needed!!! That’s what moms do! Happy Mother’s Day friends!!

Nobody likes to admit weaknesses, but they help us grow!!!

3B457261-B69E-4BF5-B1BF-D16EA100DD76 My biggest struggle in life is admitting that I do have a disability that makes me have certain weaknesses. I have put so much pressure on myself throughout life to try and take care of those weaknesses by myself. That is not easy, especially when you need help. God puts things in our path to make you realize you need to learn that weakness is part of God’s plan. This summer was my wake up call, I believe from God, to show me that I cannot do everything by myself and I have to trust in him to lead me in the right direction.  I came close two times this summer due to my brain surgeries. One time I got a nasty life threatening brain infection, and the other time a medication had a bad effect on me and pretty much affected my breathing. My family was called in, it was that bad.  I was very aware that things were bad, but I found a peace  throughout it all as I had prayed constantly silently, since both times I was unable to speak. Both episodes had a significant impact on my physical function which was already impaired. However, throughout a lot of rehabilitation and 2 hospital stays, I came home speaking, feeding myself, working, and being a mom which is the most important thing to me.  Returning to home and to work as a speech therapist, I realized that I had to trust God‘s plan for me. He did not allow me to get the education to be a speech therapist, just to take away the ability to speak forever.  He took it away for a few weeks, but I got it back. Talk about a professional learning lesson. He did not allow me to become a mother, to not give me the ability to be the mother that my precious boy deserves. He did not allow me to trust in any man’s love to be my husband, and not make him exactly what I needed during times of stress. I just want to make sure everyone who goes through those hard times, look back when they’re over and realize that one person got you through you…. you through  God‘s strength!! I want to share  one of my favorite verses:

2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.