My biggest struggle in life is admitting that I do have a disability that makes me have certain weaknesses. I have put so much pressure on myself throughout life to try and take care of those weaknesses by myself. That is not easy, especially when you need help. God puts things in our path to make you realize you need to learn that weakness is part of God’s plan. This summer was my wake up call, I believe from God, to show me that I cannot do everything by myself and I have to trust in him to lead me in the right direction. I came close two times this summer due to my brain surgeries. One time I got a nasty life threatening brain infection, and the other time a medication had a bad effect on me and pretty much affected my breathing. My family was called in, it was that bad. I was very aware that things were bad, but I found a peace throughout it all as I had prayed constantly silently, since both times I was unable to speak. Both episodes had a significant impact on my physical function which was already impaired. However, throughout a lot of rehabilitation and 2 hospital stays, I came home speaking, feeding myself, working, and being a mom which is the most important thing to me. Returning to home and to work as a speech therapist, I realized that I had to trust God‘s plan for me. He did not allow me to get the education to be a speech therapist, just to take away the ability to speak forever. He took it away for a few weeks, but I got it back. Talk about a professional learning lesson. He did not allow me to become a mother, to not give me the ability to be the mother that my precious boy deserves. He did not allow me to trust in any man’s love to be my husband, and not make him exactly what I needed during times of stress. I just want to make sure everyone who goes through those hard times, look back when they’re over and realize that one person got you through you…. you through God‘s strength!! I want to share one of my favorite verses:
2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.